You and I Are Too Old and We Don’t Have Time for This….

We never did. What an interview with Anne Lamott taught me about aging

Does this make me look fat?

If you’re female, chances are you and I have asked that question of someone at some point.

If you are over fifty, and I am 71, we don’t have time for this idiocy any more.

Recently I was driving home from Portland listening to National Public Radio. Mary-Louise Kelly had called the luminous writer Anne Lamott, who had turned 70 this year, and asked her about aging. Here’s the full article.

This is the story:

LAMOTT: Let me tell you a quick story that I really live by. When my very best friend since high school was dying of breast cancer and we went into a store, she was in a wheelchair, with a wig on, about a month before she died, and I was buying a cute, little dress for the current fixer-upper boyfriend. And I came out, and it was tighter than I’m used to. I usually dress like John Goodman. And I said to her, do you think this makes me look big in the thighs? And she looked at me, and she said, Annie, you don’t have that kind of time. And I think one of the great blessings of getting older is that you realize this. By my age, I’ve lost a lot of really precious and sometimes younger friends. And boy, is that a wake-up call to start making some smarter choices about how you’re going to spend this one precious and fleeting life.

This fellow poet /writer who was clearly inspired by Mary Oliver’s words about a wild and precious life also wondered if her thighs looked big. We are all so very human, and we are also all so very affected by societal messaging.

Having been utterly obsessed with my body for years to the point of starvation, this hit home. I still judge my body. Many if not most of us do, male/female/gender fluid, makes no difference. We are terribly cruel to the one person who most terribly needs our love and acceptance: ourselves.

You and I are WAY Too Old and we no longer have the time to waste worrying about how we look.

You and your doctor know if your body needs adjusting, and you likely already know what you need to do to get healthier and…