Yes. And given that I’ve been using online dating since 1998, and have written and rewritten my profiles on three different sites literally hundreds of times, I might posit that refining the selection process is something I’ve become awfully good at. The problem is that what I am looking for is highly specific, and it’s not easy to find. I prefer very athletic men in their late forties, early fifties, who like older women, who are not terrified or put off by high achievers, who have their own jobs, money, good health, sense of humor, and are spiritually well developed. By the time I’m finished with this, I guarantee you that the folks that I’ve identified are few and far between. Which is just fine. Because I’d rather be alone- and enjoy my own company- than settle. I’m not interested in marriage or a travel partner or even in spending too much time with anyone.

I am utterly put off by people who lie. And given that the vast majority of folks like on their profiles, and that has been borne out over all these years again and again by men who post photos that are at best ten if not twenty years old, it becomes at time something of a disappointment that honesty has become so rare. This isn’t a matter of refining the selection process so much that it has more to do with fundamental dishonesty to ones self about who we are, what we have to offer, our physical prowess and the great aching fear that we’re not enough as we are. That holy terror leads people to lie, and then hope that our charming personality makes up for it over coffee.

NO. It doesn’t. I’ve refined my selection process very succinctly. And when it’s time for someone to show up they will.