We Need to Quarantine the Bakery Section

On comfort food…and donuts

King Soopers (our local Kroger) was open. People were pleasant, the lines reasonable. You could get toilet paper. Well, one package.

All of us were in a hurry. Not that we don’t like each other but, look. One woman was so afraid to walk next to me in the aisle she turned and sprinted in the other direction.

Fine.

I almost made it past the bakery.

You know what happened.

Just this once. You deserve it. These are tough times. You haven’t had a bear claw in years. Comfort food.

After all, all you have at home are salads, and fruit, and canned kidney beans.

I don’t eat bread. There’s a reason for it. My body really, really doesn’t like it. The tongue does. That’s different. I pay for eating bread for three days.

Sometimes longer.

Of course that kind of discomfort is foolish. Not healthy. Of course it is.

So of course I crammed an apple turnover and two bear claws into the bag.

Just this once.

None of them made it home. My Soopers is barely three miles from my house. I was an industrial-strength vacuum. Crumbs all over my car seat.

That was yesterday.

I am now in full baked-goods hangover mode.

SHIT.

I’m considering petitioning the Governor to cordon off the bakeries, for if not, well, we may no longer be the healthiest folks in the nation.

There is some mercy, however. Krispy Kreme , which has remained open (look, they are, after all considered an essential food group) is a very long drive.

Written by

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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