To this thoughtful piece I would offer this:
“You Have Wrinkles”
It’s been quite nice to turn on my computer and have the pleasure of not being bombarded with insults from men on…
Guys, the ONE AND ONLY THING you and I all have in common, all people, all races, all genders, ALL OF US is that we will age. We will die. There is nothing that will stop that march. The only choice, as I see it, is to say F*CK YOU to a society that deems us ugly for the single thing we cannot do anything about. At 66, all I care about are my health (which is superb) my adventures (which are radical and badass) and leaving a legacy. If someone deems me worthless because I am wrinkled, then frankly, that person is nothing. There are so many products you can buy. None buys you time. None buys us wasted youth spent chasing a chimera that cannot be caught.
The American economy is built on such fear, such angst, such judgment. We are so easily manipulated based on fear about our looks.
You and I can waste endless time and dime doing our best to make other folks rich while not living a full and happy life, worrying about shit we can’t control. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can think of a lot of other things to spend my limited funds on that don’t include Botox or plastic surgery or $1500 creams that don’t do anything more for my face than something I can get for ten bucks at Walgreen’s. I can moisturize, but I will wrinkle.
Like; the four weeks I”ll be riding horses in the wilderness of the Northern Rockies. Like, the four weeks I’ll be in Mongolia, riding horses, camels and attending the eagle festival. Like the five weeks I’ll be spending in Africa, diving on Mafia Island, riding horses in Kenya, and exploring Tanzania.
I’m not rich. I live on a disability. Earn a few pennies writing about things that I honestly believe folks care about- like how to be free of what weighs us down. Such as being driven to distraction about the only thing we are all guaranteed: aging, wrinkles and eventual death.
What does make me rich is the fact that I don’t waste my life pining for what I will never have: an unwrinkled face and youth. I am rich with stories, joy, laughter, enthusiasm and memories. Folks, if people want to waste their lives in ansgt about the inevitable, go for it. For my part, I’m too busy living life. And I would passionately hope all you would too. Save your money for what puts the bird back in your chest. If you and I are supremely fortunate we will end up with faces covered with wrinkles from laughing, grinning, storytelling and lots of kiss with and from those we love.
That’s a life worth living. But that’s just me.
To all I strongly recommend Ashton Applewhite’s superb book This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism. I think it might offer some pretty spectacular perspective. We all suffer from and participate in ageism. And it’s killing us off with our permission.