…se moments, abrupt changes in the quality of that size spectrum, deserve to retain their integrity. We’ve got to be able to name that the experience of a size eight differs dramatically from that of a size 18, which differs, too, from that of a size 28, who may not be able to fathom the experience of a size 38. That will require self-awareness of all of us, a willingness to acknowledge our own hurt and stretch beyond ourselves to grapple with someone else’s.
Your Fat Friend
To this monumentally essential point, for example, my “obese” to someone else would be their “thin.” That does not give either of us the right to be righteous, it simply conveys that uniqueness of experience, which is dictated by a brutally unfair set of fake standards by which we measure ourselves. A friend of mine referred to herself as “obese” when she was 30 lbs overweight. I bit my tongue. Because for her, in her world, that’s her reality. That doesn’t make her wrong or me right. That we would disregard another’s experience on the basis of our own is not just rude, it dismisses their right to have that unique experience. By the same token, go to other countries where larger people are revered. That also changes the conversation. Ultimately, you are speaking to the knee-jerk habit of judgment, of comparison. Either way we end up angry as opposed to being willing to validate another’s way of being in their bodies. Great article.