To this great list, Kris, I would add the following:

  1. Choosing friends and partners who possess a love language in the first place.
  2. Never ever ever ever ever ever take (him her them) back. Reread your journal and your Medium articles right after that breakup if you happen to suffer from selective memory, self-hypnosis. Or get a goddamned buzzer and a teddy bear, you’ll be a lot more satisifed in most cases.
  3. Find your funny. You don’t have a sense of humor, you don’t have a life.
  4. Stop giving such a huge shit about what others think, especially trollers and strollers who are using you as a dartboard for their complaints
  5. Go though your friends with a nit comb. Dump the users, abusers, the hangers on, the whiners, the moaners and those who Do. Not. Get.You. Restock your friendship shelves with badass, funny, high achieving, encouraging people (all of whom possess love language, see 1) above)
  6. Stop Fucking Taking Everything. So. Fucking. Seriously. Seriously. See 2) above.
  7. Get rid of every damn thing in your closet that you have to lose weight to zip back up. For Christ’s sake. You might, you might not. But as long as those pants (or skirts or whatever) are screaming at you, you’re a prisoner of What Was. What’s now is now. Get over it. If I had a closet with every size I ever was Just in Case, I could fit an entire college full of women.
  8. Get a sense of humor. There’s a pattern here. Because all of it is funny.
  9. In fact, Finding your Funny is such a gift to ourselves it ought to be its own love language.
  10. Stop assuming that where you are is what it’s going to be like Forever. That goes for your honeymoon, your horrible weight gain, your depression, your stretch marks (okay, they may be there forever), your best friends. Shit changes. People come and go (literally and figuratively). Enjoy the scenery, laugh at it, love it, hug yourself, kiss a dog, a frog or whatever suits you.
  11. Okay. I’m hijacking this and turning it into an article.

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