This is a really dense comment, and here’s what I mean by that- it’s full of multiple meanings, not that it’s stupid or useless. The wisdom inherent in your sentence,Tesia is that when I choose not to take care of myself across all spectra-mind, body, spirit, emotions- then I can hardly take care of or be fully with anyone else. By definition in fact. I am achingly tired of the plane analogy (put the mask on your kid first blah blah blah), the point is still valid. I cannot possibly expect my partner to fix me if I am obese, or diseased, or emotionally bankrupted. That is part of my baggage (please see what I just penned this morning about that here https://medium.com/@jhubbel/i-want-someone-without-baggage-44240bb974c6). That’s part of my work which can be our work if we’re willing. But that takes a fair amount of personal courage.