This hit on so many notes that I’m going to have to write another article that supports it, Shannon. I would note here, and it’s important to be clear, that this fragile ego thing goes both ways. I share your many online experiences, but by the same token, I’ve heard umpteen stories about women who troll, attack and belittle men for one reason or another. Ugly behavior is an equal opportunity offender, and it’s not limited to just men. However, to your point,having been the recipient of scathing messages from men who were incensed by the simple fact that I don’t find old fat wrinkled men attractive (for good reason, thank you) I can attest to the truth of your article. Each of us has preferences, and I like younger men with the same lifelong, intense commitment to fitness that I have. That’s why my guy is 17 years younger and gym rat like I am. However the journey to find that guy was littered by viciousness, personal attacks and full frontal combat, as well as your experience of penis invasion by digital photo. As though the almighty penis was the one determinant of whether a man is worthy. That’s basically the same kind of thinking that says a photo of my tits is the one thing that makes me worthy. Too many of us are guilty of this kind of bullshit, Shannon, and the online dating community — like Facebook, Linked In and every other damned online gathering spot- is just one more place for shitheads, scammers and lowlifes. Build it and they will come. For every jerkoff who attacks you for being a bitch because you don’t find him attractive, there is an angry, out of shape woman late in life who spreads her vitriol on line because men no longer find her attractive. She will send nasty grams to men who sport their sixpacks, for example. It’s the same thing. Just as ugly, just as un-called for just as inappropriate. Both sexes are challenged by people who lie about their weight, looks and age. Your piece was great, I just want to be clear that both sides are guilty, but for different reasons. It’s driven in part by the narcissitic notion that we deserve (X, whatever X is) and the lack of a brutally realistic look in the mirror. More to follow. Appreciate the article very much.

Written by

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store