There are so many pieces to this SC. Beginning with, how hard did said husband work to inspire self care? or did said husband stress the living shit out of said wife, after which she had to reclaim her life? And kindly how much did said husband work on himself, pray tell? Miss Manners is curious. I've heard it too, and of course, it's never just that simple. If I'm inspired by the guy, I will work at it. If not, I'm less likely. It is so very hard for us to look at ourselves and say, what piece do I have in this? That, of course, is real work.