The work part is what makes it hard. I think that too many want to sit back and wait for Amazon to deliver the perfect man, the perfect woman. And when that doesn’t show up, we get pissed. Really? As though we don’t have to work on ourselves to make ourselves valuable, interesting, engaging, attractive, and fun to be around. Of course it’s hard work. That can also be very pleasurable- from the gains we make on our own merit. And no we don’t have to be arrogant about that either- what makes many so much more engaging is that their experiences give the the perspective from which they can take more interest in others. Thank heaven I found one who meets those criteria and a lot more but it took years of work to get there. I did write a piece with advice, about how to write an online profile. Tongue in cheek, but with valid points for both sexes.