The way I read this is that it is implied that it’s your job as the Black Friend to kiss the guilt boo boo and make it all better.

Since it never has for you, your sisters and your community, not only- as I have written elsewhere, are you not their nanny or wet nurse, but it’s not and never was your job to forever be the non-threatening Happy Black person.

This article is the reason why, depending on the friend, all I do is say I love you, or I am allow to call and sit and just listen. While it is again not your job to validate whether or not my instincts are right, you did, for which I am grateful.

I have one deeply close Black friend who has gone largely silent. Clearly that’s what she needs. To your point it’s not my right to drag her out into the job and MAKE her discuss what is difficult so that I can damned well feel better that maybe I’m not a racist.

As one other friend noted, a friend with whom my connection with her is being strengthened though these times, if these protests suddenly gave you a conscience, where the fuck have you been all these years?

It’s not her problem that can be hard to hear. It’s her problem, your problem, the country’s problem we’ve not cleared the wax out.

Written by

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store