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The Candy Caper
Where’s that porch thief when I need him?
The video shows a guy pilfering a home’s supply of Halloween candy right from the front porch. Effectively, if you will, denying lots of kids their due, but probably also preventing at least a few extra pounds (and dental visits).
What a jerk.
However, I need that guy.
On Halloween night, right after we’d had one hell of a cold spell, it had warmed up. My neighborhood, a nice burb close to the Colorado foothills, had cleaned the sidewalks. Warm air was back.
Last year I was home, which is very rare. I had the light on, and in a moment of equally-rare consideration for the kids, left my dentures in, so that I wouldn’t scare the holy shit out of them (and their parents) and thereby save the Snickers for myself.
Oh, what a difference a year makes.
This year I am battling about ten pounds of stress weight. Halloween day I shot over to the local Safeway and bought a ten-dollar bag of bite-sized Snickers. The bowl…