Thanks most kindly for your reference. This in particular sticks with me, Ann, for so many of us have difficulty even seeing what doesn’t serve us. Habits form often without our knowing it, and then they become self-justifications, and we end up wanting to be right about our habits without even challenging where a food, a friendship, a way of being is toxic. That’s where the hard personal work comes it. I am going through this right now with the BF. I’ve had a lifelong habit of giving away my power to men, and particularly men who live in my house. This isn’t something he wants, it’s something I do without even seeing it at times. The unpleasant part of self work is watching, stepping outside the self to observe the self, which is the very first skill of spiritual evolution. If I’m willing to be a Watcher of my habits, especially those that don’t work, then I have the chance, the opportunity, to make changes. If I am fully asleep at the wheel, then everything I do, including destructive behaviors, continues. We all have this choice. We don’t all exercise it. I am right in the middle of this very housecleaning right now. It feels righteously good even as it is equivalent to running up a mountain with a full backpack and hiking boots on. When I get to the top, I can enjoy a brief moment of absolute, perfect clarity before rolling down hill and having to do it all over again with yet another piece of myself that doesn’t work so well. The lie my ego tells me is that I’m fine just as I am. Actually no I’m not. As long as my ego drives my life, I am not well at all. This right brutal self-assessment that I will always be a work in progress, I always have to face the lies I tell myself, is part of grace. As long as I am willing to challenge my story, then I have a chance at something higher.

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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