Julia E Hubbel
2 min readAug 1, 2018

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Thanks kindly for your thoughtful response, Ranjeet. Someone chastised me for being ageist, which intrigues me no end. When we start accusing folks of being ageist or racist because, for example, they prefer Black, or prefer White, or prefer large or small or tall or tiny, then we have completely derailed ourselves. My best friend Sonja, who is Black, is in love with a White man. Does that make her a racist? Really? Does her boyfriend’s adoration of Sonja make him a racist because he fell in love with a Black woman? Is Robert DeNiro, who famously prefers Black women, a racist? At what point do we grow up enough to recognize individual rights to prefer one thing over another? When people walk around with and “ist” or “ism” chip on the shoulder they will by god find it, or they will manufacture it in order to be right. What I have found is that the seat of that accusation lies in their own issues, of feeling not enough or inadequate. Over the course of my some 45 or so dating years, since I married only very briefly to a younger man at the age of 40, I have experimented and dabbled and experienced a very broad range of offerings from the male smorgasbord. That includes men vastly older, men much younger, men of every color and culture. That’s not particularly common, among women, but I am built differently than most. I like my freedom and I like men. However after all that experimenting I have come to like a type. I owe nobody an apology for that, any more than any man prefers a cafe au lait woman to whitebread, or someone has a thing for Polynesian women or Nordic men. Preferences aren’t criminal and they are not ageist or racist. They are simply preferences. To politicize preferences is ignorant and foolish. To this I have to say go pick a fight that has value. This doesn’t. I appreciate your comments.

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Julia E Hubbel

Not writing here any more. I may crosspost. You can peruse my writing on Substack at https://toooldforthis.substack.com/ .Also visit me at WalkaboutSaga.com