Stop Shoving the Holiday Season Down my Throat in the Middle of Summer
Let’s see. It’s the 25th of July. Hot as hell. My grass is brown, a lot of my flowers are spent, although many are still blooming. Summer is in full flush, and the grass at my local park (where my taxes do a terrific job of supporting the dense, cool, green fur and tall shade trees) is a perfect place to waddle the bull dog. She doesn’t run. In this heat, neither do I.
I took a detour on the way home on a main road, and my eye was drawn, as it inevitably is, by a huge orange sign announcing……
Halloween.
Um, NO. COME ON MAN.
It’s goddamned SUMMER. For crying out loud.
However, it’s that time of year again. That time when retailers start shoveling holiday spirit at us like so much manure in order to fertilize our wallets for the season, which is still many months away.
Can we please outlaw the holidays until the holidays actually get here?