Let’s see. It’s the 25th of July. Hot as hell. My grass is brown, a lot of my flowers are spent, although many are still blooming. Summer is in full flush, and the grass at my local park (where my taxes do a terrific job of supporting the dense, cool, green fur and tall shade trees) is a perfect place to waddle the bull dog. She doesn’t run. In this heat, neither do I.
I took a detour on the way home on a main road, and my eye was drawn, as it inevitably is, by a huge orange sign announcing……
Um, NO. COME ON MAN.
It’s goddamned SUMMER. For crying out loud.
However, it’s that time of year again. That time when retailers start shoveling holiday spirit at us like so much manure in order to fertilize our wallets for the season, which is still many months away.
Can we please outlaw the holidays until the holidays actually get here?
K-Mart, which is a dying company anyway, in a recent year began advertising Christmas layaway in summer. First of all I don’t know anyone who shops at Kmart any more, and really? Honestly? https://www.cheatsheet.com/money-career/no-one-cares-kmart-anymore.html/ Not a whole of a lot of us. “Attention K-Shoppers” has become a comedic tag line for a reason. The announcement rings out through an empty store, the revolving blue light shining on….kinda nobody. K-mart was bought by Sears, which everyone knows is SUCH successful concern these days, taking the once-venerated and high-quality brand Land’s End with them. Remember those superb quality turtlenecks? Yah. They went the way of the endless return policy at LL Bean.
Christmas in summer at K-Mart? Clearly the strategy didn’t work, as they and many other big box stores and malls are going the way of the dodo bird. Santa impersonators all over America are going to be hard-pressed to find new gigs when the local…