Steven,

With respect, as a long time business consultant, trainer and someone who has worked in the field of personal development for more than forty years, I might suggest two things: first, I find it unfortunate that you seem to make the assumption that ALL adults operate at any given level. Not yours, or mine, or anyone else’s. If you use yourself as the pinnacle of development, please, not only is that dangerous, but the very fact that you would make such a statement about adulthood would undermine that claim. I have met far too many people well past thirty who have no coping skills whatsoever. That isn’t intended as a slam. The simple truth is that addiction is a problem of our times, and those who develop addictions young, stop maturing right about the time that the next fix becomes far more important than learning to cope. That’s a whole other issue. I saw that at work in my own father and brother, both alcoholics, crippled as emotional twelve year olds.

Second, what you deem “pretty basic” may well be based on what I am guessing is your white, Anglo Saxon male upbringing. Those rules don’t apply across the board to everyone. To assume so, and then apply that judgement to all adults, is just a mite narrow minded. What’s considered basic in your world may not track with many others, especially in other cultures.

Lots of folks grow into physical adulthood without basic coping skills. I would posit that this is even more true today. Age in and of itself conveys nothing more than, well, age. Not wisdom.

Just different viewpoints, Steven. I’m sure in your own circle what’s basic is shared values. That doesn’t mean that fits for everyone else. And, kindly, this isn’t intended as criticism. Just a different way of seeing.