Stages of Aging (A Somewhat Fractured Version of the American Dream)

Infancy: The world revolves around you. Everyone LOVES your baby fat. You can shit in your pants, vomit on people’s clothing, belch in their faces, poop in the tub, drool, make funny faces with your toothless mouth and people adore you for it. If you demand a tit, nobody thinks anything of it. In fact, a nice big juicy one tends to appear immediately. What a deal.