Speaking as a 67 year old who chose never to have kids, the reality seeps in when you watch your aging friends who are still mothering at home. It never ends. While that is indeed the role for many, for me I knew at the ripe old age of three. Not my thing.

That clear, that young. And boy have I suffered the barbs of all the bullshit that people throw. You’ll change your mind. FUCK YOU. No I didn’t. OH, just wait til you find the right guy. FUCK YOU. No I didn’t. I got raped instead, which goes a long way towards shifting one’s perceptions. Oh you’re going to be lonely in your old age. FUCK YOU. I’m deeply happy alone, deeply happy traveling, deeply happy doing whatever the fuck I do.

The possession of reproductive organs does not imprison us. Society does. Bending to society does. I never owed the state a unit or two or five. The state took its pound of flesh with the rapes, plural, thank you, in the military. FUCK the state. I did my duty. Now the state can leave me and my sovereign body the hell ALONE. And kindly do not ever shove a baby at me and expect me to want to hold it. I don’t. You show me photos of babies and I am unresponsive. You show me animals of any kind, you have my full attention. We are all wired differently and there is no right or wrong.

This is not an easy question for some women. Perhaps many, especially if there’s a partner involved. However you bring up the critical points. It’s the lifestyle, and it is for life. Forever. Given that, then the snapshots of all those Disney costumes become little more than a PR campaign that masks the complexity of the real thing. I’m not saying it’s bad to have a kid. It is for some of us. And that’s a good thing to know before we haul off and have one. Brave stuff Gigi.