Sorry for the late response, David, I was getting ready for a big seminar day yesterday and now I can breathe.

It is a wicked-bad and unfortunate habit that those of us who have been brainwashed by Disney images and expectations spend our time tearing apart those who aren’t perfect. Well hell, David, I’m quite sure that after moving into my house the BF found plenty of things that he wasn’t happy about either. However I have taken note of many of them ( I have bells of all kinds on every door in the house from all over the world, and they annoy him no end). It is so very easy to take them down and put them elsewhere. These small but important gestures which underscore our awareness of each other as well as being mindful of what causes annoyance go a very long way towards harmony. The question is whether we can pull back and spend more time concentrating on what our partner does right rather than a laundry list of what is lacking. Okay, so a guy doesn’t look like a Chippendales or Thunder Down Under dancer (mine kinda does but then…) Most women aren’t willing to put in the work to be attractive to a guy like that, and besides, it’s just a body. What about his brains, personal responsibility, and all the other questions around character and competence? As my BF has noted more than once, those women he knows from the full-on fitness industry are so wickedly self-absorbed they are impossible to live with. I might be a serious iron head, but it’s to serve a very full life. My BF is a bit of an iron head, but he also lives a full life. His presence in my life makes it even fuller. Every time I find something to complain about I put a stake in the heart of all that is good about this man. If we weren’t so in love with our negativity we would be surrounded by a great deal of good. It’s what we choose to look at, attend to and concentrate on. While I am fully aware that such complaining is primarily about what we’re unhappy with inside ourselves, that doesn’t undo the damage that such ugliness does to others who are doing their best, just as we are. Thanks for your kind comments.

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Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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