Some many years ago when Disney World first opened I was told I had to straighten my naturally curly hair. I'm bloody well WHITE. That was the first and only time my hair has ever been politicized, and the only time I have had the slightest understanding of how Black women's hair has been weaponized against her. Your point here is completely misunderstood by anyone who has never been criticized for skin too Black, too White, a nose to broad, too thin. It's bad enough we punish anyone for not being pretty or thin or whatever. When we add the politics of skin color, damning those whose skin is darker as though it's somehow a character fault to be born not light enough, well, that just hurts my heart.
Black women can at times critique each other with the same awfulness that the White community makes Black skin/hair beauty a Thing. The hoopla over Black hairstyles in Black gymnastics left me gobsmacked.
As White women we mostly are clueless about all this. Unless and until we ourselves are so scrutinized and critiqued, we have no real understanding. And sadly, we don't want to know. Because if we cop to compassion and empathy, we are forced to link arms with our Sisters to demand fairness for all women, no matter the body size, hair type, skin color.
That, apparently, is asking too much.