So true, Elle, but here's the biggest piece as you point out: until I am willing to see how I am in my own way, I don't move forward, particularly if I am more committed to blaming and shaming than getting results. I hear my ex say all the right things, and avoid the real work of owning his shit in action. Force of will is overrated (it's domination, and we tend to destroy what we dominate) and the willingness to be vulnerable to our own internal shit allows us to use that shit to fertilize the garden. That's way too deep for a holiday weekend.