So last night I’m having a big emotional session with my social media buddy JC, who was in a nit because his business is the shits. H lives in an RV with his love. They are BIG people. JC is 6'4" and about 250.

He was describing his kitchen. Lisa, his love, is just recovering from Covid. He’s been banned from the bedroom.

On occasion, bored to shit from staring at his fiance’s unresponsive back, he would raid the liquor cabinet.

He was explaining the layout of the kitchen. How when he stands up, his dick is right at the level of the sink.

You can see what’s coming. I asked. He said, Yes. But only when I’m really fucking drunk.

I peed myself.

I laughed so fucking hard I almost turned as blue as those fucking nitwits who bought Alex Jones’ silver colloidal toothpaste.

At least MY skin went back to normal.

You cannot make this shit up.

Written by

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store