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Six Pack Abs in Only Nine Easy Steps

The miracle cure for ab flab. Four programs customized to fit your workout style.

Now you have a chance to get the rack of your dreams! Choose the program best suited for your lifestyle and budget:

  1. Go back to your birth parents and demand a do-over
  2. Find folks who are most likely to give birth to an extreme mesomorph
  3. Get born, grow up, and wear your shirt open. Get a job modeling for stupid diet and exercise programs which promise to others what you got by accident of birth.

OR

  1. Starve yourself down to 1% body fat. Keep it up too long.
  2. End up a badass corpse.

OR

  1. Hire a celebrity personal trainer
  2. Go broke getting and maintaining a set of abs that your body can’t sustain without extreme dieting and workouts
  3. Never leave the house, but you can pose in front of the mirror all you want in between workouts

OR

Spray paint them on. Cheaper, easier, you’ll live longer.

And you can eat donuts.

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

With thanks to Medium peep Ashwin Rodrigues for the reminder and his original article, tagged above. Worth reading.

Written by

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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