Scott, I don’t argue your point. However, here’s the piece: when you are online on a dating site, you and I have a choice: we can read someone’s profile, recognize that we aren’t in that preferred range or what that person wants, and move on. That’s grace. That’s being respectful. There is no call whatsoever to go on the attack. This guy- and too many others like him- claim lovely characteristics out of one side of their mouths and then they demonstrate the exact opposite out of the other. I chose to point that out. I frankly don’t much care that it might have hurt, right after he did his best to carve a few pieces out of me. Why? Because if someone doesn’t he will continue to do this to other women. Enough is bloody well enough. You can say that it’s my insecurities, please, you’re most welcome to your opinion. For my part, rightly or wrongly, it is far more a matter of calling someone on his bullshit. If that makes you uncomfortable for your fellow man, consider this: it’s just as appalling among women, as I state in my article.

What’s even more interesting is that you just did here what you are saying that I did, Scott: doing your best to shame me for standing up for what I believe in. For drawing a line in the concrete. For saying enough is enough. While you have every right to your take, you yourself are demonstrating this very same thing. Psych 101, Scott. Projection.

You have every right to your take. The way your take appears is yet another attempt to take me down a peg. How dare I call a jerk on his being a jerk? How dare I indeed? How is what you did in your comments any different?

We are all of us insecure. That does not, in any way shape or form, give us the right to go after someone and try to rip them apart. I have the right- as do you, as do we all- to stand my ground. That’s not insecurity. If someone comes after you for being old or fat or whatever insult they want to fling, you have the right to stand your ground, too. That’s not insecurity. That’s clarity. Clarity is power. You get back what you put out there. That’s exactly what Mr. I Climbed Everest got. And he bloody well deserved it.

You and I agree completely that certain folks shouldn’t behave this way. But they do. They leave a trail of hurt and hurt feelings- women AND men- and all too often with no one willing to create a negative outcome for that kind of abuse. I did. You don’t like it. I am sorry. That’s not my problem. There are vast numbers of good-hearted, decent, caring men who are equally abused by angry women. I hope someone calls them on it. Because it’s just as ugly. The internet has allowed people to get away with untrammeled assassination. If you think that’s perfectly all right, that it’s just about insecurities, that’s fine by me. But I don’t agree. That’s simply bad behavior. Most of the time I am happy to work with it and do my best to turn it around. But not when it’s just outright vicious. If there is no price to pay for that kind of behavior, people will keep right on doing it. I appreciate your comment, and you will forgive me if I don’t agree with you. Nothing wrong with that. It’s what makes life interesting.

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store