Right about the time some fuckwit brags about Burning Man, I remind him of the time I stood atop Kilimanjaro at sixty, Everest Base Camp at 61, rode horses and kayaked the Arctic Ocean in 2015 (you get the drift) AND I owned a five bedroom, beautifully kept home with a landscaped garden, ran a business and somehow managed to do all of it without feeling imposed upon. Just saying. Burning Man is your One Big Claim to Fame? Stupid drunk and drug-addled naked adults playing loud music all night and running around like Magilla Gorilla and spreading STDs and this is your One Big Thing?

Grow. The. Fuck. UP.