The answer to that is as varied as the woman. As someone who tries hard to navigate the online dating waters, I have had supremely poor luck reaching out to those whom I find attractive even if all I do is send a compliment. On the other hand, those who reach out to me make the mistake of not reading a carefully-crafted profile, or make such a crass comment about my (let’s be nice here) attributes that I want nothing to do with the man. That might work for others, but not for me. So in truth I don’t know that a silver bullet exists. It’s damned difficult, to say the least. I am writing another article about that this morning comparing two very different gentlemen with whom I’ve been having a conversation. One promptly rejected me as soon as I wrote him to explain that I am having some difficulty with a ruptured bicep (okay, so now I’m damaged goods, NEXT). The other wrote with compassion and care, because he is himself battling a cancer remission problem. That tells me a great deal about the character of both men. I have no answers. ‘Struth. I’m as confused as the next guy/gal. I wish I knew, truly.