Rebecca,

One of my longest standing friends, Sonja, last year married a White man. He adores her, his family appears to have accepted her, but I fear she juggles many of the same issues. This guy worships her, which is what she both wanted ( and frankly deserves). That said, after the George Floyd murder Soni told me that she would wake up in the morning next to this White man and immediately ask herself what she had done to her race. These decisions are so very difficult, they are fraught with pain and fragility, but ultimately, when we choose love above all things I think the journey ends up being worthwhile. I have dated and loved Black men, Brown men, Asian men, Islanders. I haven't found my guy. But in the process of cross cultural dating I have expanded my appreciation for the expression of love, disregarding race or culture. It takes such courage to navigate these waters and I applaud you.I am so very sorry that you had to shed your friends, but suffice it to say that if they didn't love you both enough to accept your choice of partner, then that friendship didn't have deep enough tap roots. I know you know that. But kindly, we are headed for an interracial world. We're already there in so many ways. Your kids will see many more just like them which is to me good news. Thanks for your brave piece.