Potent stuff, Adam. It’s a slow slog away from the notion (although there are still women who weigh love in terms of visible gifts, which cheapens everything) that a guy MUST provide, and that in doing so he earns his right to be loved by virtue of how hard he works. The cost in time is deeply hurtful to those of us who value interaction, conversation and quality time far more than a new necklace. That message will disappoint DeBeers and basically our entire economy, but frankly, Adam, once you miss a child’s first step because you were addicted to overtime, that day is GONE.

I cheer the younger generations who are establishing a very different conversation if for no other reason than the super rad and very different chicks I hang out with- all of them a third my age or thereabouts- make damned good money. If I want a gift, I’ll get it for myself. Besides, my BF keeps giving me spa days. I HATE spas. I’d far rather he shut down his damned computer and roll around on the floor ( or bed or couch) with me for a while. ( I have found that by donning a bright red dress, thigh highs and high red pumps, that does the trick quite nicely :-)).

Gifts don’t, can’t replace time. Time is fleeting, precious, and irreplaceable. To your point, you guys ARE enough. If you have someone in your life who says that if you love her you have to (fill in the blank), especially buy her this that and the other, for my money,

get the hell out.

She’s not into YOU. She’s into what you can do for her. It goes both ways. Thanks for your comments.

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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