NAH. Nothing abusive here (although I am going to rag you if you didn't go track down one of those Black yoga teachers I sent you). The other day I was reading about how the words guys, folks, people are ALL offensive to someone or other- each was listed separately in a different article, which adds to the overall confusion. I think one of the challenges in such a chaotic time is to recognize, and perhaps this goes for all of us, Devon, to keep in mind that there is likely going to be some kind of phrase which gets under our skin due to our unique points of view.

That said, the piece about being an ally? Perhaps what irks me so much, and this goes back to the Black squares on FB pages when George Floyd was murdered, was this: when that happened I had just met a new friend. Black woman about ten years younger, PhD, fellow athlete, effing brilliant. We formed our friendship on the crucible of that event because I just listened to her. She was furious, unbelievably furious at White people; I sat on the phone and just listened. That was hard, because I am White, but it was a superb and difficult lesson in simply creating the space. I have disabilities; she and I both have sexual assault histories, we have much in common. But the one thing that I could provide that she needed was the willingness to witness. Too many of her other White friends did not want to bear witness to that kind of pain.

That I think continues to be a very difficult lesson in precisely what you're saying here, about being an ally. This doesn't make me any kind of hero. Nor am I trolling for a compliment. Please, not at all. I was exceptionally fortunate to have met this woman at that moment, and the road we walked formed an incredible bond. And it taught me a great many things about the intimacy of what sisterhood could be if we could be vulnerable to someone else's pain and their unique journey. The knee-jerk response to take things personally, and we're all subject to it, is hard to manage, so that it undermines our ability to genuinely show up. What's required is a whole other level of humanity.

We miss the point that the extraordinary vulnerability that we can offer one another, that willingness to witness, to listen, and to share the experience, is a gift of extraordinary power. That grace is what we are missing in these discussions, Devon. Of course it's painful. But to not be willing to bear some of that burden adds yet more pain. The way I see it, and it doesn't make me right, is that when we choose to listen, validate and share the burden, we all grow stronger.

Now. Go do that yoga!