My dear friend Sonja called me last night to cancel today’s girlfriend celebration because, er, um, she is backed up. For five days now. Now look, if my alimentary canal has gotten jammed with too many Venetian gondoles, otherwise known as spiced nuts, pecan pie, triple creme brulee etc, and when a visit to the local Walgreen’s for quasi-immediate relief doesn’t produce any, at that point, the idea of sipping lemon water all through the entire holiday suddenly becomes even more appealing.

I had a bowl of lukewarm quinoa for Christmas dinner. As appealing as wet cardboard, and about as tasty, but even with half a bottle of dressing glopped onto it for flavor it was a hell of a lot better than what my friends had.

And boy does it move the mail.