Most folks aren't terribly good on subtleties. "I didn't mean to" can be such a perfect sideswipe to avoid taking responsibility. The way I see it, if I screwed up, I own the results. Lotta things I didn't MEAN, but if the impact was damaging, they are still my results. The lesson is also mine to own. This is precisely why I have largely bowed out of many if not most racial discussions even if I genuinely care and might even have a decent take. The chances that I'll be seen as a self-centering White woman are too high. The question I get to ask is why it's important for me to chime in. If I can't give a really solid answer, then the real answer is to zip it.