Mackenzie, this is the heart and soul of every -ism. Racism, able-ism, ageism. As a disabled veteran who is also an older person, I am on the receiving end of some of this myself. However, while I understand your point, and very much so as a fellow disabled person why you make this argument, I am not sure I wholly agree. That doesn't make either of us wrong but that we come at this differently.
Most people who are living with all their limbs, brains and options operate on neutral, and they absolutely do not understand the daily battles and what folks with physical limitations juggle to be fully in life. For many of us, especially those who do not have family, finding a path to self-sufficiency isn't an option. I have to work. There is no other option. That this can be inspiring is indeed a gift to others even as it can be, but doesn't need to be, a burden for us to carry. It's how you and I choose to frame the facts.
In a world where far too many of us bark about what we deserve, we forget that daily existence for many of us is far more challenging than others realize. The value of those stories is potent, as reminders that we take way too much for granted. I get where you're coming from, but as someone who lives and writes to inspire, my take is different. It's not a burden for me. I can't rewind my life, I can't remove my disabilities, but I also wouldn't trade them for anything. They've been great teachers. For how I choose to live my life, and I can only speak for myself, what I've been given to carry does indeed make me stronger.
You make an excellent point that implicit in the messaging, and this is my interpretation of your words, that if someone doesn't find a way to overcome their disability then they are morally corrupt. Because SEE? SHE did, whatsamatta with you?
This is where we misuse others' stories to browbeat people who are either too disabled, or too defeated, or dealing with too much to handle the Superhuman task of overcoming. Not everyone can. Nor is their story a story of defeat. It's just a human story. The compulsion to make it all about winning is what doesn't work. We learn to negotiate terms with what we carry, we don't "win." The American society's love affair with somehow making all life into a Disney movie about winning despite all odds is indeed an insult to many.
As a military veteran, I personally resent the notion that disabilities are just another war that can somehow be won with perseverance or pills. This is where you and I agree completely. Like all wars, they are managed by day to day skirmishes, battles won and lost, shit days and good days and amazing days. There is no winning, there is only coming to terms.
In many ways, the notion that we can use others' stories of returning to greater ability as a way to shame or punish others goes back to ugly Calvinist values and the other porn that infects society: prosperity porn. If God really loved us, the belief goes, we'd be able, rich, successful, uber-athletes, gorgeous, and young forever. And above all, White.
When we add age to the conversation, society comes after those of us grey hairs with additional fangs as though by aging we have committed a moral offense. When we are aged and disabled, holy shit. We’re an offense against polite society. So pushing the limits, which is part of what I do and write about, is for me a combination of flipping the bird at conventional (wisdom which is actually stupidity) and living a life that defies expecations. That this inspires others to get off the couch is, for me, the whole point. If they don’t, that has nothing whatsoever to do with me or you or anyone else.
I write stories that are intended to inspire. I try to live a life that does too. That doesn't mean I cleave to any of these beliefs or notions. What I do believe wholeheartedly is that we all need inspirational stories. In that way, when our lives uplift others, we are a gift. You may see that as a burden. That is your sacred right. I don't, and that is my sacred right.
I appreciate your perspective.