Lisa, thanks ever so much for your response. While the reality is that Peter would not have allowed me into his life for his own reasons, the joy that I felt being introduced to the good that he did in the world was an enormous relief. As with all difficult family situations, we have our story about who a family member is, but it is deeply prejudiced through our own lenses. Those who didn’t share that history or feel that trauma can see anew. And being able to as Marcel Proust wrote, “see with new eyes,” we are given the gift of a different perspective. This can be a healing salve, for not only do we understand the greater human, but we can embrace the reality that we are all hugely complex entities, and that there are parts of us that others can appreciate that our families cannot. It is a fact of life that parents can make the mistake of forever seeing us as children and not give us permission to grow up and be wise in our own right. By the same token, our immediate family members lock us in the jails of family dynamics, not give us permission to evolve, change and grow beyond the family story, whatever that may be. Imagine what it’s like to go to high school reunions, as many of us do, wherein the cliques remain for decades, and even in our sixties, the attitudes of high school classmates remain in lock step. We aren’t quite given full permission to evolve into adults, fully realized beings, full of our own stories and accomplishments. Part of this is the terror we all feel about getting old(er), and part is our need to perpetuate a feeling of superiority. When the class gay kid shows up as the CEO of Walt Disney World (and yes, this DID happen in my school) it shakes your assumptions and attitudes right down to your core. You can understand the enormous potential of all of us, or you can deny it, to your detriment. It’s a statement of potential- which is available to us ALL, not just a lucky few.