You are precisely where you should be in terms of evolving into who you are becoming. I can’t think of anything more important that what you have described as being tender with your body and providing love. The process of learning to love what and who we are takes what it takes. And as I’ve written on other forums, some of are late bloomers. That’s as it should be. Patience is probably the most important aspect of where you are right now, as well as learning to have a sense of humor about what has happened in your life. I found that the day I started making fun of some of the worst situations I’d faced in my twenties and thirties I was on my way to recovery. What we laugh at, diminishes. What we fear, expands. Just a thought.