Jessica,

This is such a supremely important point that most women simply do not get it. I will give you a similar: in South African during apartheid, the Afrikaaners learned- and spread the word to great effect- that the fastest way to take the teeth out of a Black protester was to give him a nice house and car in a nice suburb. He immediately had a vested interest to not rock the boat. Worked almost every time. This is the ugliness of our humanity- self interest, at the cost of many.