It would be hugely inappropriate for me to make any kinds of pronunciations about this gentleman's feelings or his life. However, this much I will say. I hear a goodly amount of fear in his comments, not without damned good cause. For what it's worth, Rebecca, this kind of reactionary over-controlling outreach often comes- and I don't know that this is the case here- when we feel utterly out of control, and then lash out at people we think we CAN control, giving us the semblance of power. It's a lie, we know it's a
lie and do it anyway.
I have seen and been subjected to the same kind of same race or same sex (etc etc) shaming and manipulation in my case by women who took umbrage at my being VERY open about my rapes or about feminism in general. The comments have nothing to do with us. They never do. They are a statement of terrible vulnerability, of feeling helpless in the face of an oncoming tsunami.
Well, my Sister, as you plainly state, the tsunami is coming. You can run (there is no HIGH GROUND to which we can escape such issues), you can flip a bird at the wall of water that is about to consume you, or you can, and we are, bloody well learn to surf.
Such choices mark us for attack, they mark us as targets, but as you paddle out to meet the crest of that wave, Rebecca, you and I are in damned good, very courageous company.