But seriously, if I don’t want to get married and have kids, I’m not with the right person? Does that mean that if I did meet the “right” guy, I’d suddenly completely change my mind about something I’ve been certain of for 27 years?! Really? 'Cause the love of the right man (why not woman?) would change a strongly-held decision? Oh…
Isn’t it fascinating, the implicit assumption here? If you’d found the right guy, you’d be getting married and punching out kids. Clearly that was this man’s POV, not necessarily a wrong one, but imposing it on you when you are happy with what you have, perhaps a little invasive. Togetherness is so uniquely defined, happiness is drawn from so many sources, that it forces us to ask good, hard, thoughtful, expansive questions about what really looks like joy in our lives.
When I was still in high school at 16 ( I left home not long after my junior year) I can recall a bevy of us girls discussing how the man we married had to wear a suit, and what we were going to name our kids. The young man I was dating at the time later turned out to have a penchant for illegal activities, which got him on the wrong side of the law. He also became horribly obese, which is one other reason we never see him at reunions. I left home, later joined the army, and am forever grateful to have stepped outside the small town boundaries of Sixties Central Florida. Doesn’t work for most, and my life is in no way superior or better, but it works for me. My old best friend has been through some five marriages, still searching for that perfect man. I’ve had a lot of them delivered by the river of life and they were all perfect for that time.