If you break the commandments you will rot in hell (stay with me here, there’s a punchline)

If you aren’t baptised (chose your dogma) you will rot in hell.

If you don’t (fill in the blank, including suck my dick, because after all, it’s God’s will,) you will rot in hell.

Oh,and by the way, hell is full of suffering, torture, burning, biting, hate, horrible creatures forever and ever and ever AMEN.

BUT GOD LOVES YOU.

Uh-hunh.

With heartfelt thanks to the late, great George Carlin, who is likely in Hell, having a good time with all the interesting people, because after all, I failed harp lessons.