If I may, as a very long time on and off user of these various profiles:

Let’s add:

STOP with posting photos of yourself with hair and a waistline, if in fact neither of those exist any longer. JUST STOP.

STOP already posting photos of your dead fish, dead deer, dead ex girlfriend, WTF gentlemen. We aren’t kissing dead animals.

STOP already posting photos of your stupid fucking toys: your car, your boat, your motorcycle, your mountain cabin. We aren’t dating your transmission.

STOP already lying on your profile. Research states that 81% of all of us do, and that’s us too, ladies. JUST FUCKING TELL THE TRUTH. If I can’t check the veracity of your claims, I won’t show up.

STOP putting your age range as 18–30, if in fact you are (and you do this) 60 and up. Will.You. Please. Fucking. Grow. Up.

STOP claiming physical prowess you no longer possess. To wit guys: if climbing a flight of five stairs gives you a heart attack, DO NOT claim to be athletic and toned. I AM athletic and toned. To wit, I can do 75 men’s pushups. That’s just for starters. At 67 I am a dedicated athletic. Stop living in your twenties when you were athletic and be honest about who and where you are right here, right now. Just STOP it already.

Online dating is hard enough. It’s riddled with very good professional scammers. It’s full of folks who are living in a complete fantasy world about who and what they are or were thirty years ago. WE ARE DONE with folks who show up looking nothing like their photos, and who turn out to have been horribly dishonest about age, weight, hair (if any), income, work history, blah blah blah.

This goes for us ladies, too. We do the same stupid shit. So let’s be fair: STOP lying on profiles. The truth will out, and if you don’t want face to face angry rejection, honesty is one hell of a lot better policy than creating a Disney-esque version of who you are. If the real you isn’t enough, swipe left. Someone is going to have the hots for you just as you are.