I totally get this, even as I, as others have noted below, have finally slipped into that era which allows me to be fully female BUT not the asshole target. Honestly I do not miss this AT ALL. It might be due to my sexual assault history, which is awful, but this kind of "validation" for my part isn't validation at all. For me at least, it was always just one more reminder that I was meat, and nothing more than meat, to be discarded later. That history has finally, finally let to my recognitiion that when a guy can only compliment me on my body, which ws the unfortunate habit of the most recent ex, then frankly, we were doomed. For said attributes sag, fall off or generally deteriorate, and at some point, even with the best of maintenance (and I am fuckinmg superb at maintenance) you have to deal with each other's humanity. If that isn't enough, it never was. These are such powerful lessons. thanks for your piece.