I appreciate this. The last BF billed himself as a giver. My experience of him was that he was a monumental taker, from the nearly $50k I spent on dresses, shoes, thigh-highs, all the investments made over a decade in his pleasure. In return…um. Less and less foreplay, more and more expectation and demands, and annoyance when I finally told him that anal sex not only was too painful but had actually caused me some damage. He got annoyed. That should tell you who he was right then and there. That I actually stuck it out waiting for a real human being to show up says a lot about the sexual abuse I experienced in my twenties. That does a lot of damage-apparently for a very long time- damage I clearly am still dealing with.