I agree, Tom. Those two aren’t by any stretch a Theory of Everything; we are far too complex. They are simply two major addictions I’ve noticed, but they don’t answer every single question (nor would I have the hubris to try such a thing). More so it’s an observation about some of our facets and motivations, which we all seem to share.
I just got extremely angry at a young woman who, without my permission, without consulting me, cancelled a surgery date that it took me untold months to secure. She “thought” she heard me say my shoulder was better and simply took the date off the calendar. In fact, I told my doc that my shoulder was worse, but that’s besides the point. She’s not the doctor. She is part of the administrative staff. This caused me untold issues, challenges, problems, scheduling hurdles- you name it. That’s not all she did but it was enough. I let her have it- rightfully so- because you do not do such things without consulting the patient. So to your point, boy, sometimes anger is justified.
There was nothing irrational about it. I pointed out that she might feel equally angry had someone treated her mother with the same complete disrespect and disregard. Or her child. She is incompetent- not wholly so, but in these areas she demonstrated incompetence. And when it comes to my health care I won’t stand for incompetence, because we can’t afford to- there’s already plenty of it going around. What’s critically important is to recognize is that she most assuredly didn’t intend to do harm, and I said so, but that doesn’t forgive the sloppiness. The impacts are far reaching and I am still trying to fix all the issues.
I might add to this that sometimes, being clear is mistaken for anger. Clarity is power. Being clear about a situation might make someone, like this young lady, squirm in her pumps. That’s not my problem. She can take my feedback any way she likes. However where I see that kind of poor performance I mean to call it out- because if she’s done it to me, I guarantee you she’s done it to others. The difference is that I speak up. I don’t care if that makes her unhappy or uncomfortable. That’s not my problem. She became my problem for the last two days due to extreme incompetence on her part.
In certain areas, we have a right to be right- however I prefer to go back to your words: “an irrational itch.” Perfectly said. I wrote a Medium.com article on sobriety which goes right to the heart of this. Thanks again for your comments.