How DARE you. I of course am I top writer on Medium.

Well of course I am. What. You didn’t know? You didn’t bow down at my virtual feet to kiss my cracked toenails when I took time out of my terribly busy day to bother to read your stories and comments?

What on earth is the matter with you? I have bothered to notice you on occasion. I have stooped to noticing your material.

I have responded to your stories. Well, okay, three or four words.

What, you can’t tell when you’ve been touched by a Miracle?

Oh. Ye ungrateful wretch.

Excuse me. I have to go take a selfie of myself with my stats page. (Or, like they do with Multi-Level Marketing, I’ll post a screen shot of my last check from Stripe.)


PS Gah, Kristie. I wish I had a nickel for every time I got acknowledged by a so-called “TOP writer;” I’d have enough to….well….never mind. I sure wouldn’t have a nickel.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store