Hermes, if I may.

You’re a scholar and a scientist. I’ve worked with Jungian archetypes for decades. I get your typicalities and preferences, and they fit your comments. That doesn’t make you wrong whatsoever. Your natural proclivities probably lead you to correct facts, which is precisely what you did with me. I wouldn’t expect any less or anything different. I am your exact opposite on the model. Neither is right, neither is wrong. Our challenge even in normal times is to have enough compassion for those whose ways of being are not like ours at all. Your type is probably deeply committed to accuracy, and details. Nothing wrong with that. However, that nature can be offended by someone like me when I am not being mindful of the facts, and can sound freewheeling and disrespectful. Typically these opposites marry (great fun) but at work they offer critical support to each others’ weakness. On Medium, most folks have no idea what style they are, nor do they care, and when you add stress, that tends to exacerbate the behaviors. See PM on your comment, that will direct you to an article on that very topic.

I appreciate your insight. If I can, I’d offer this: the way you go about things isn’t wrong per se. What might be useful is to write out your comment on a Word document, wait (I hate this part) then walk away from it. Compassion for me is borne of allowing myself to feel what that comment might feel like on the receiving end. I have to ask what my purpose is- am I angry? Offended, or needing to correct?

I worked very very hard on writing a comment today to a writer who made an appallingly broad and blatantly incorrect statement. You and I would very much agree on it. However I used every trick I had in the book to honor her PoV, recognize that she has every right to it, and simply offer what I had to say as different as opposed to being right, and that she was wrong. Not easy. But more compassionate.

Add to the emotional immaturity most people demonstrate, then mix in a big helping of defensiveness, and you’re not exactly going to end up with Riz cream.

We all struggle with this, Doctor. All of us. Because we’re human, the work is hard, the road is long, and the soul is deep work. All of it is honorable, including the mistakes we make.

Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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