Here’s how you do it, Ann, from a Southern Belle. A true Southern girl can insult the holy Mother of God shit out of anyone but make it sound like kindness by adding “Bless Your Heart.”

To wit: In sweet, lovely tone, you intone, “My goodness, you are such a raging ignorant asshole, bless your heart.”

There is something about adding that onto any insult, no matter how dire, that allows you to anesthetize the SOB while you shove in the blade. It bleeds a lot more later.

Nobody does character assination better than a Belle, unless it’s Shakespeare. But that’s a whole article.