He kept one promise- that if there was sex in the offing, he’d show up. All others were forfeit. And he made some very very big ones, all of which he broke, regularly, spectacularly.

I don’t need perfection. A little integrity would do just fine. Bill. He had the integrity of a dead nematode.

I anticipated all of his wants, needs and desires. That was the problem. Nothing was reciprocated. That I would have accepted this for so long says a great deal about misplaced loyalty, hope, and how adept he was at convincing me that this time, he would do X. He never did. That’s not love. That’s abuse. And I let him. I just let him. We didn’t share the same fundamental values except were both committed to being in shape. That’s about it.

Denial and hope are a bad combination. It’s how abusers keep us around. Hard lesson indeed.

I don’t dislike men. Just this one in particular. He lies so effectively that he could convince the Pope. Because most of us want to believe the best in others, even when there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. This is how we grow up. The hard way. but it’s worth it.