Good morning SU, and thanks again.
Here’s something I might suggest, in the for what it’s worth column. I also put a few suggestions in another response to you the other day so you might want to track that down.
Here’s a way to think about this. When we concentrate on the bad things that have happened to us (suicide attempts, rape, etc) then we give them life, power, energy and control over us. When we recognize that these things happen to many of us, are part of life, part of experience, and simply ways to build our character, we take away that power. I’ve had many of the same issues, although I never attempted suicide, I certainly planned it. The only thing I haven’t had was breast cancer, but I hold my hand up for everything else. Not in a million years would I tell you this is easy, but those experiences have turned into stairsteps. I use them to make me stronger. Do I still at times feel depressed, anxious, unhappy? You betcha. However somewhere along the way I had to install Robin Williams on my hard drive. By that I mean that when things go south, and they WILL, ask yourself what your favorite comedian would do with this material? When you twist your story around through a comedian’s eyes, it loses all its power. What we laugh at, diminishes. What we weave into our story has power, and that increases every time we repeat the story. So, if I may, let me note here that you’ve mentioned these things that you’ve experienced a number of times. They are valid. However each time you bring them up they get new life, new power. They are done and gone-in the past. Our ability- and it’s a muscle we have to exercise-to acknowledge the value of those experiences and then gently put them where they belong, in the past is what brings the possibility of a different future to us. We can use our story to justify where we are right now, or we can use that same story to give us strength. You’re a survivor. That’s what matters. Now, NEXT.
This is offered with the utmost respect. We all have our individual journeys, and our own ways forward. We carry what we must for as long as we need, but suffering is optional. That’s what I’m trying to say. We all have horrific experiences. It’s just life. How we choose to deal with them is our spirit. I’m glad to be an inspiration- now give yourself permission to inspire yourself.