Good morning Sherrice. You asked for thoughts and ideas, so here goes. I regularly poke my nose in on articles like this one and with any luck I hope you'll take my two cents as intended. I write about this all the time, for several reasons. One: I've done it. I dumped 85 lbs 35 years ago. Kept it off. That means that if there is a magic bullet (NO, there isn't) I live it. Second, at 68, there is something to be said to have survived forty years of eating disorders. If those give me any agency, well then. But that said I don't inhabit YOUR body, and therein lies the greatest truth.

So: First and foremost. There is no magic bullet. There is only what works for you, right here , right now, this age, this body weight, this energy level, blah blah. That is as unique to us as a fingerprint. And it will change year to year, decade to decade. Because we do, our bodies change, and they demand something different and new. THERE IS NO MAGIC BULLET. That particularly deadly search for the Holy Grail costs us billions every year, all year long.

Second. You are not your body. Your body is a skin suit, your vehicle. PERIOD. Its job is to allow you move in this life and evolve. Period. Your precious body is the perfect barometer to measure the health of your emotional and spirtiual health. It was perfectly designed for your journey AT BIRTH with all its idiosyncrasies and bumps and curves. Nobody else has them like you do. That is your geography. YOURS.

Thin isn't fit isn't thin. This ugly bullshit message kills off a great many of us. Functional fitness is THE only magical answer. You can be bigger or big AND very fit. What that looks like for you...who knows? That is YOUR journey.

The vicious Calvinist thinking that drives all of our anger and self hate around being born big or a propensity for being big is worth researching. So much of our viciousness around being big or fat (see "LAZY" and "Morally unsound") comes of religious thinking. So does racism. So: being big or bigger, and Black and female, well, you get it. That has no basis in reality or science. It has its roots in hateful Calvinist righteous and righteously evil thinking. The WORST insult we can hurl at someone is to be FAT. Really? Honestly? Because the world is chock-full of mean, ugly, vicious, sickass, brutal thin folks. Don't get me started.

The greatest KINDNESS we owe ourselves is to find food which works for OUR body. THIS age. The amount of regular movement which works for OUR body. THIS age. The combination of which will shapeshift over the decades. That makes it fun; we are always playing Dora the Explorer.

There is no perfect body but the one we have. When it is well-fed, well-exercised out of self love it will love us back. It really is that simple.

Losing weight is not the Holy Grail. If you drop X lbs you will still be Sherrice with all her grace and failings and all her quirks. If you gain it back you will still be Sherrice with all her grace and failings and all her quirks. But you will lose all those hours and days and all that time of your life focusing on your weight instead of your way through life. I've done it. I honestly can speak to it. Not a damned thing changed when I dumped 85 lbs. Notre Dame didn't ring the bells for me and the weight of the world did NOT slough off my shoulders, and the world did not bow at my feet. NOTHING changes, not really.

If our opinion of our sacred selves depends on a number we are lost. Again, I've been there. Your kids are learning from you by watching. We either choose to be healthy (it starts between the ears) or we perpetuate the ugly lie that our worth is defined by our weight. I am not saying that you do, but I am offering this up as something to consider.

If you believe in a Sky Daddy, (and kindly, I don't) then my guess is that Sky Daddy could care less what your dress size is. He does care about how you treat the life you were given, the love you give your family, and the path you walk and all those you touch. Those define us. Not our waistlines, but whether or not we waste a life worrying about weight rather than filling our days and hours with immense gratitude for the gift of life. My parents gauged my value based on my weight, and it nearly killed me. We are condemning our kids to the same fate. That is up to us. We are the example. You are perfect AS YOU ARE. Period. What you do with that is up to you. Getting healthier is very different from losing weight.

I wish you every single bit of luck on this journey and a happy, healthy holiday season.