For example: one time I told her I was thinking about writing a memoir. Her immediate response: Well, who would want to read THAT? A lot of folks have asked me if I would write one. That wasn't the response of a friend.

Another time I asked if I could speak at her annual veteran's retreat for women. I am a decorated disabled veteran. Her response: You're too old to be relevant. This despite the fact that I have brought large audiences of female vets to their feet with stories which were life changing: that included vets of ALL ages. She never wore a uniform, is NOT part of the "club," if you will, yet she dictated to me that I was old and useless to a group of people with whom I have deep and important connective tissue. And they told me so. I am a very, very good speaker and she knows it. I suspect she also knows that those women would have found what I had to say relevant and compelling.

I could go on. She knew me well enough to know precisely what to say to do the most harm.

All this began right about the time I started doing adventure travel. The more trips I took, the more chances I risked, the more interesting my stories got the more she dug into me. I had deferred to hear for years. Now, it seems that as my life took on its own arc, she wasn't having any of it. I don't know this, all I can do is speculate.