First, congrats on losing your weight. Second, that's the easiest part.

I recognize and acknowledge all the societal changes that you see. And I have some unsoliticted suggestions which are offered from the heart.

Back in 1987, I took a year to let go of 85 lbs after years of being obese and yo yo dieting. I've not seen that weight again but for a brief spike under lockdown. That is normal.

However, I'm in the 1-10% of folks who have kept it off now for 35 years. That's what I want to address.

Yesterday I read a heartbreaker of an article by a woman named Nathalie who expressed great sadness at seeing al her weight back, and having to force her once-again-big body into a pair of size 16 jeans which hurt her belly. That wasn't all that was hurting.

Having been there, on both sides, but being where I am now having successfully- so far, and it's only "so far" until the day I'm planted- kept my weight off for three and a half decades, I have some thoughts, for what it's worth.

First, don't dump your big clothing for at least five to seven years. It is very painful to find yourself perusing your thin closet for items which will accommodate an expansion. Not only is this expensive for the wallet, it is something else again to have to look in the size twenties when you had finally gotten to twelves, or whatever. Allowing yourself permission to backslide, and most of us do, is part of learning to be successful more often than not.

Second, as I wrote Nathalie, you are not your body. Sure, sure sure EVERYONE understands the concept. Nobody lives it. Your skin suit is nothing more than a vehicle and not a statement of your laziness, lack of character or whatever other lies our vicious Calvinist culture wants to tell us.

Some of us are big, and when you have big bones you will tend towards bigger bodies. I have bird bones. My body fits my frame, but it took a lot of hard work that got MUCH harder over the years. As I age towards 70 I am constantly changing my diet and my food choices to accommodate my body. Even though I'm an athlete, that does not give me the license to eat what I want. I eat for who I am, how much I work out, and all the different unique parameters of THIS skin suit, as must we all.

Because that's hard, that is why folks backslide.

When our aim becomes functional fitness and not some number on a scale, we stack the deck in our favor. Fundamental overhauls of our lifestyle are what it takes to maintain, and never ever ever looking back. If you gain, you gain. Deal with it. The more we self-flagellate, the more likely we will eat emotionally.

An idea: Find a BHAG that has nothing whatsoever to do with your bodyweight. Make it a goal that requires that you take on some kind of fitness activity that you love, and will do daily. Walking turns out to be the single best thing most of us can do, and it's a lifetime kind of activity. Not everyone is mobile, but studies consistently show that walking works. I space speed walking with my hiking, running, lifting and everything else. I just committed to climbing Kilimanjaro again the year I turn 70, which is my statement to get my aging butt back in very high gear after eighteen months of lockdown. That is what works for me, find something that works for you.

Above all, plan to fail. Plan to backslide with a bigger backside. Why? Because we do. When we plan for it, we know it's coming and are prepared. We can track what's going on and instead of hating ourselves for failing we can have a good laugh, slip on that bigger pair of jeans, and get back to work. When we allow ourselves the grace of a few tough weeks or months, we are demonstrating far greater self love than the Army drill sergeant version of whipping ourselves into shape.

I backslid under quarantine. Lots of folks did. I didn't die and I didn't have a heart attack and I didn't hate myself. I just slowly dropped it again, because I know how. While I'd love to be at 118, these days my 68 year old body hovers between 125-130. Do you think I'm going to despise myself for that extra ten?

No way. The point is that the number doesn't determine my human value. I work hard at being fit, and that extra ten is going to come in right handy this week for shoulder surgery. When we understand the role of fat in the body, we don't despise it as much. Too much is one thing. But fat is as essential as the heart and lungs. The trick is, with love and humor, find the set point that is reasonable for lifetime maintenance.

I wish you godspeed on this journey and again, congrats.